People who love just taking from you
" You will end up really disappointed if you think people will do for you as you do for them. Not everyone has the same heart as you do!"
Yes I have ended up very disappointed every time by people that are very close to me firstly and then others who dont really matter. Some say very nice things that you would like to believe but when it comes to doing what they say, it is another story. In the last 3 months I have experienced how people show their true selves if they dont need you anymore. It bothered me so much that I thought I had to write a blog about this.
What do you call a person who takes advantage of another?
A word which springs to mind for me, is a skag - also someone who uses another person. Opportunist/parasite/freeloader. ... A skag (or skaghead) is a user (of Heroin), but the word spills over to refer to a person who takes advantages of others heedlessly. I'm sure some people in your universe comes to mind. We all have them. One of these people I have first hand experience with is they are so loyal to you (so they say) but NEVER shows you that loyalty. How do you believe that person? You can't actually because their loyalty goes as far as those few words....NO action to follow that up! Believe me this can also happen in small things that they do. Small things that you ask them to do for you and it is "No I can't because of this or that." That makes you really think of that person, their loyalty, or who they really are as a person. A selfish, self indulged human being that ONLY thinks of themselves, what they can get from you or what you can do for them!
When someone takes you for granted what does it mean?
In the 2nd sense, "take [someone, something] for granted" means to underestimate the value of that person or thing. In other words, to expect someone or something to be always available (such as to serve us without us needing to give recognition or thanks. Or just NOT wanting to do something for the other person that has always been there for you).
So to stop this from happening to you I thought of how to stop this and the only way I think of doing this is to RESPECT YOURSELF - STOP LETTING OTHERS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU AND YOUR GOODNESS.
4 TIPS TO HELP YOU TO STOP THIS
It's likely that you are a helpful person by nature, and sometimes you allow people to take advantage of you, because you're nice and you want to please others. Stop this pattern; it's killing your self-respect. You can be kind and nice and have boundaries. Learn to value your own schedule, values and plans as much as you value others.
Respect yourself step 1: Think of a time that you were treated unfairly. What did that feel like? Perhaps it was your colleague dumping a project on you at the last minute, the waiter bringing you the wrong food, or your mother calling and keeping you on the phone for an hour. Think about how this situation made you feel physically and emotionally. Did you want to fix it but just didn't know what to say or were you afraid to say something in order to get what you deserved? Think about the feelings and thoughts that come up when you recognize someone is taking advantage of your time or kindness. This feeling is important, it will push you to use the following skills.
Respect yourself step 2: Figure out what you value. Is it your free time, workouts, Netflix binges on the weekend? As a therapist, I have people emailing me at all hours of the day and calls that "need to be answered" at all hours of the night but I can't be available 24/7. That's not fair to me and it isn't fair to my clients. If I'm annoyed, angry, or frustrated, how am I going to be serving them? Instead, I decided to set hours, and let my clients know these were. This helped me spend my time with family and friends. In your case it may be in other ways. Someone always showing up at supper time knowing you will invite them to eat with you, or someone that always wants you to do something for them irrespective of what your schedule may be. Someone that always wants something for nothing. You always footing the bill of eating or drinking out. Someone always wanting and never giving. When ever you need that person's help they are never able to for one or other reason.
Respect yourself step 3: Start small. Pay attention to the details. Did your cab driver keep the meter running or your friend keep you waiting for an hour? Notice the small things that take advantage of your time, kindness, or your lack of attention. If I wouldn't have been paying attention, the checkout girl would have unknowingly taken advantage of me, and I would have been upset with myself and her if I noticed it later on. Be aware of your interactions and if people begin to make you feel like you are being taken advantage of, then you can act.
Respect yourself step 4: Act. Say something, speak up for yourself. It may just be a question to confirm that your needs are being met, but their answer will also keep you feeling confident and in control. Be nice and polite when you are asking for what you want to be fixed or inquiring about it. Here are some examples:
Excuse me, I thought the price was lower; could you double check for me?
I have other plans that I can't change. You'll have to find someone else.
I only have 10 minutes to talk; how's it going?
Look, at the end of the day, it is you who may be taken advantage of, so you have to step up, be brave, and respect yourself otherwise it will keep happening. The more you practice saying "no" or standing up for what's right for you, the higher your self-esteem will become.